the truth of the matter
by HedwigBlack
Summary: "Tell me something true." Albus and Scorpius and the truth about love. For Cassie.


**This is for my wifey Cassie who writes the loveliest fanfiction ever and hopefully she'll like the weirdness that happens in my head sometimes.**

* * *

"Tell me something true."

It's a game they play sometimes. One of them will drag the other down to the lake and they'll dangle their feet in the water and they won't say a word for a while. They'll look anywhere but at each other and swallow all their confessions until the air gets thick and they're afraid to choke. And that is when the silence breaks like glass- just a crack at first. But then it shatters beneath the weight of a seemingly simple request.

"Tell me something true."

Because Albus and Scorpius are sick of deciphering true from false, fact from fiction, history from legend. It's exhausting work, really, trying to sift through all the lies they've been told, and taking everything with a grain of salt is a miserable business.

They have too many family reputations to uphold or contradict or run away from and tonight, Scorpius is tired. Tonight, Scorpius just wants to sit beside the only boy who understands and embrace his sincerity, taste the bitterness of brutal honesty on his lips. He just wants answers to questions he hasn't thought to ask yet.

So he sits Albus down, inches his fingers closer until they're almost touching. He always leaves a space between them and he stares at it, thinking of Michelangelo and wondering how close is too close and he hates himself a little bit for thinking so much nonsense, so he says, "Tell me something true. It doesn't have to be anything profound or life changing or important. Just tell me something true, Al."

Albus smirks and lights a cigarette before leaning back on his hands, kicking at the water with his feet. "I hate smoking. I'll quit soon. I always say I'll quit soon, but I can't."

"Nasty habit," Scorpius responds.

"Bloody terrible. All James' fault. He turned me onto it." Albus glances down at the space between their hands that has gotten even smaller before looking over at Scorpius' face. "Your turn. Tell me something true, Scor."

And all of a sudden it's green eyes and rings of nicotine and a dislodged confession, and Scorpius says the first stupid (but oh, so true!) thing that comes to mind. "If you hadn't started smoking just then, I might have kissed you."

Their little fingers connect. Scorpius almost expects fireworks to go off, but of course they don't. And Albus stares at him, speechless, cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth until Scorpius clears his throat and looks away. "Your turn," he mumbles.

Albus takes the cigarette out of his mouth and throws it in the lake, the environment and the Giant Squid be damned. "If I'd known that, I would have quit ages ago."

There's nothing more honest than a first kiss. It's a little awkward with hands that don't know what to do and eyes half open but it's still perfect because the truth of the matter is Albus and Scorpius are just two boys who don't know who they are and they love each other just the same.

* * *

"Tell me something true."

It's fifth year and O.W.L.S. are finally over and Scorpius doubts he passed a single one of them. But he's been told that's how everyone feels after O.W.L.S. and not to worry. Things like that don't matter in the end.

Their common room is milling with other students who are also enjoying their new found freedom, and the green spotlight that the lake creates has fallen on where they sit on the couch, but Albus doesn't seem to mind so why should Scorpius?

The space between their fingers doesn't exist anymore. Instead they are tangled together until neither of them can tell whose skin is whose. Scorpius leans against Albus' chest and tries to match his breathing, taking comfort in his steadiness and the warmth of his breath across his forehead. And he smiles because it smells like Drooble's Best Blowing Gum because Albus really did quit smoking and Scorpius always makes sure to tell him he prefers the scent of bubblegum to cigarettes to let him know he appreciates it.

He doesn't know why he asks now. Maybe he's looking for affirmation. Or maybe he likes the way Albus' voice sounds inside his chest. But he says it anyway.

"Tell me something true."

"I think Lily and I might kill each other over summer holiday if you don't invite me to stay with you."

Scorpius clears his throat and shifts his weight on the couch. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. She's been testing my patience lately. You're lucky you don't know what it's like, love. Siblings are a nightmare."

Albus presses his lips against Scorpius' temple, before whispering in his ear. "Your turn."

There are a few moments of silence in which Scorpius truly wants to lie. He wants to tell Albus that they can spend their summer holiday together. Spend it alone, without responsibilities or siblings, without a care in the world, staying up nights and shedding clothes and insecurities and not waking up until noon. He wants to tell Albus all of this so badly but he can't. He never can. And besides, that would defeat the purpose of their little game, wouldn't it? The truth is meant to be bitter, after all.

"I don't think you'll be able to stay with me, Al."

"Why?"

Scorpius pulls a letter out of the pocket of his robes. It's wrinkled and torn around the edges from all the folding and unfolding he's done over the last week. And it's covered in his father's too neat handwriting that he's come to hate so much. He considers tossing it into the fireplace but instead he hands it to Albus and sighs. "Mum left. Not coming back this time. Father won't let her."

Albus doesn't open the letter. He doesn't care about the details. They won't make a difference. He only pulls Scorpius closer, threading his free hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, love."

"Me too." He swallows thickly and tries and fails to keep his voice from shaking. "Your turn."

And Albus says the one thing Scorpius desperately wants to hear which makes him wonder if that is the only reason Albus says it at all. "I'm not going anywhere."

There is an unspoken _For now _ringing in Scorpius' head, but he does his best to push it away because that's not fair and he knows it. That's not true. Or is it?

Scorpius doesn't know but he lets Albus kiss him senseless in the middle of the common room anyway, lets him make promises against his lips that he swears he'll keep.

Because the truth of the matter is Scorpius has always been a doubter, and maybe that's why he wants the truth to hurt so much. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to believe.

* * *

"Tell me something true."

Scorpius breathes in deeply through his nose, his heart still racing and Albus' hands still wandering along his thighs. He feels the other boy smirking against his skin as he crawls back up to press his lips against the side of his throat. But then he pulls away to look him in the eye and there's a very un-Albus-like hesitation there.

Scorpius furrows his brow in concern and reaches up to stroke his cheek. "Come on, Al. What is it?"

Albus leans down to kiss him gently before he whispers the truth that's been staring both of them in the face as if it's some sort of secret, as if everyone around them hasn't known it for years.

"I love you."

And something about it makes Scorpius think that it shouldn't be that simple. But it is, and Albus said it, and he's lying there waiting for a response that Scorpius doesn't know how to say.

After a full minute of Albus staring and Scorpius choking, Albus clears his throat and flips over onto his back clasping his hands and resting them on his chest. "Your turn?" he asks uncertainly and not a little angry.

"I…" Scorpius begins. "I… you… no one has ever said that to me before."

"No one? Not even family? Your mum…"

"No one."

Scorpius can feel Albus' gaze burning his skin, but he can't look anywhere but the ceiling. If he does the tears will spill and only weak people cry and Scorpius swears he isn't weak. Scorpius is better than this. Scorpius can get a grip.

Albus reaches for his hand, and his fingers twitch as they connect. "Scor, that's really…"

But Scorpius interrupts. "Your turn."

He thinks that after such a disastrous first attempt, Albus would give up, but he's clearly underestimated him. And suddenly Albus' lips are trailing along his throat again, gentle at first, but more desperate with every _I love you _against his skin. Over and over.

"Are you listening, dear?" he asks, pulling Scorpius closer, showing him that there is no escape from this. "I love you."

And maybe that really is the truth of the matter. Maybe that is the truth about love. That no matter how many times you say it, that doesn't make it any less true.

* * *

It's long after Albus has fallen asleep that Scorpius says it back.


End file.
